Burn In Hell
by IOnlyDateEmpaths
Summary: Rage filled Bella breaks her promise to Edward in New Moon, desperate to just feel. Angsty, strong language. O/S.


Author`s Note: This is pretty angsty. I mean, like, REALLY angsty. AU where Edward leaves the pictures behind. I don`t own Twilight, not even fucked-up Bella. One-Shot. I have too many stories right now, so it SHALL REMAIN SO.

* * *

She lay on her bed, staring vacantly at the ceiling. She was alone. Always alone.

Emptiness filled her, blocked out the world. Even when she woke screaming from her nightmares, she didn`t _feel_. It was the lack of anything scary that was wrong – no fear, just nothing.

She wanted to feel. She wanted to be remotely human again. And so she proceeded to do something she promised she wouldn`t.

She sat stiffly and pulled herself to her feet. It was difficult, but she managed to waddle to the bathroom and open the cupboard. The object of her desire flashed and she grabbed it.

Her father was out; that was good. She didn`t want him to know what she was doing, it being both illogical and illegal. Tripping clumsily downstairs and into the kitchen, she grabbed her other necessary supplies and darted back to her room.

She laid it out on her bed and grabbed the picture from her bedside table. Trying not to look at it too closely, she inspected the objects. A photograph of her and_ him_, a firm metal tray, a lighter, a bottle of vodka and a razor blade. She smirked and sat down, putting the photo on the tray and holding her left arm out over it. A thin, bone white hand lifted the blade and held it to her upper arm. Putting a little pressure on it, she felt a stinging pain and hissed. She _felt._

The girl dragged the razor round in a half circle, and for the first time in hours, she spoke.

"Fuck you Carlisle, you made me feel like your daughter and then you deserted me." Her crimson life force dripped onto the picture below her. She moved the blade and carved an E in her ivory skin.

"Fuck you Esme, you were the first true mother I ever had and you left." The blade moved a little further. An R this time.

"Fuck you Rosalie, you never cared about me and you ruined what was, for a while, the perfect life." The blade slipped over her skin again. Another E.

"Fuck you Emmett, you were the big brother I never had and you left me to fend for myself." She lifted the metal and pressed it to her skin further down, carving an A about halfway between her elbow and hand.

"Fuck you Alice, you were my best friend, my sister, the person I went to for advice and girl talk. And then you left me without a goodbye." The girl growled, letting the blade drag over her skin as she moved to the next bloody letter. She pushed deep in for this one, and an overwhelming river of ruby gushed from the J.

"Fuck you Jasper, you uncontrolled bastard. If it wasn`t for your little `moment of weakness` back in September,_ he_ might still care." Blaming someone else felt good. Her last letter was at her wrist, where the skin was thinnest. It took barely any effort to break the skin, but she pressed on the hardest yet as she dragged the razor around inside her arm, making another E. There was something different about this one though – it seemed tinged with the last remnants of her love.

"And you, Edward," she seethed. "Fuck you. You were my first and only love; you toyed with my heart and threw it back at me. I hope you never find love. You don`t deserve it."

With a few more slashes, she carved `FUCK YOU` into her palm. The pain was almost unbearable, but it wasn't enough. She wanted it to take all the emptiness and replace it with pain. She pulled the cap off the bottle, and pushed the neck between her lips. The liquid stung her nose and burned her throat as she swigged. An idea formed in the back of her head and she took the bottle to her outstretched arm.

Screwing her eyes shut and throwing her head back, she tipped the vodka over her still bleeding wounds. A bloodcurdling scream left her lips as the alcohol burned the letters on her wrist.

"FUCK YOU!" she roared, and tears of pain and anger ran down her cheeks. She dropped the tiny bottle back to the bed – from the amount she had drank and poured it was empty. She glanced down at the photo on the tray. It was obscured by a pool of blood and vodka. She flicked on the lighter and touched the flame to the liquid. It caught fire immediately.

Watching the flames dance, Bella Swan laughed twistedly.

"Burn in hell, Cullen." she snarled.


End file.
